Meme Stocks Return: Reddit's Revenge on Wall Street

The Return of the Meme

Wall Street executives were seen frantically canceling their Hampton vacations this week as another wave of meme stock mania swept through the markets. Retail investors, armed with stimulus checks and a dangerous amount of free time, have once again decided to turn the stock market into what one hedge fund manager described as "a casino run by a bunch of millennials with anime avatars."

"I thought we were past this," lamented hedge fund manager Richard Moneybags, who requested we not use his real name. "I was just about to buy my fourth yacht when suddenly my short positions exploded. My risk management team is now just a group of interns scrolling through Reddit all day trying to figure out which failing company these people will pump next."

The Reddit Army Strikes Back

The resurgence began on the now-infamous WallStreetBets subreddit, where a user going by 'DiamondHandsMcGee' posted a 30-page analysis that consisted mainly of rocket emojis and the phrase "hedgies r fukt" repeated several hundred times.

"The thesis was compelling," explained retail investor Jenny Smith, who invested her entire wedding fund into a struggling movie theater chain. "When I saw all those rocket emojis, I knew this stock was going to the moon. My fiancé doesn't understand, but he will when we're having our honeymoon on Mars."

The post received 50,000 upvotes and spawned a new generation of meme stocks, sending shares of companies with questionable fundamentals soaring to valuations that make even Tesla look reasonably priced.

Wall Street Adapts

Some financial institutions are finally adapting to this new paradigm. Goldman Sachs recently announced a new "Meme Stock ETF" that tracks the most mentioned tickers on social media platforms.

"If you can't beat them, create a financial product to profit from them," said Goldman analyst Sarah Johnson. "Our algorithm scans Reddit, Twitter, and TikTok for rocket emojis and phrases like 'to the moon' and 'diamond hands,' then automatically invests accordingly."

Meanwhile, business schools across the country are rushing to update their curricula. Harvard Business School now offers a course called "Fundamental Analysis: LOL JK Just Buy What Reddit Says," while Wharton has introduced "Advanced YOLO Strategies" as a required class for finance majors.