"Not Financial Advice" Disclaimer
Why you definitely shouldn't make life decisions based on what we write
Financial Fusion is a financial news and entertainment platform that combines AI-generated content with human editing to create articles in various tones, including humorous, optimistic ("hopium"), serious, and existential perspectives on financial matters.
Nothing on this website constitutes financial advice, investment advice, trading advice, or any other sort of advice. The content on Financial Fusion is provided for general information and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be and does not constitute financial advice or any other advice, is general in nature, and is not specific to you.
Before making any financial decisions, including but not limited to decisions about investing, trading, buying, selling, hodling, diamond-handing, panic-selling, FOMO-buying, dip-buying, or any other financial activity with a silly name that probably indicates it's a bad idea, you should undertake your own due diligence, consult with a financial advisor, and consider your financial goals, risk tolerance, and personal circumstances.
Specific Disclaimers:
- AI-Generated Content: Much of our content is generated by AI models, which, despite our best efforts, may contain errors, inaccuracies, or hallucinations. Our AI sometimes thinks it's funny to make up statistics or predict market movements based on the alignment of the planets. We try to catch these, but some slip through.
- Humorous Content: Articles labeled with the "Humorous" tone are intentionally satirical and should never, under any circumstances, be used as the basis for financial decisions. If you buy a stock because our humor piece said it was "going to the moon," that's on you.
- "Hopium" Content: Articles with the "Hopium" tone are intentionally optimistic and may present overly rosy scenarios. They are the financial equivalent of those motivational posters with cats hanging from tree branches.
- Existential Content: Our "Existential" articles may question the very nature of money, markets, and capitalism itself. If reading these causes you to liquidate all your assets and move to a cabin in the woods, we are not responsible.
- Serious Content: Even our "Serious" articles, while intended to be more balanced, are still written for general audiences and do not constitute personalized advice.
Financial Fusion and its writers, editors, AI models, and that one office cat who somehow predicted the 2022 crypto crash, are not:
- Registered financial advisors
- Registered investment advisors
- Certified financial planners
- Certified public accountants
- Licensed brokers
- Licensed dealers
- Fortune tellers
- Time travelers with knowledge of future market movements
- Wizards, despite what our "Tech Wizard" claims on his business card
We do not have a crystal ball, a secret algorithm that beats the market, or insider information. If we did, we'd be on a yacht somewhere, not writing articles about finance.
Past Performance Disclaimer:
Past performance is not indicative of future results. This applies to markets, individual investments, and our ability to predict either. If we happened to be right about something in the past, it was probably luck, not skill.
While we maintain our irreverent tone throughout most of our content, we want to be absolutely clear: investing involves risk, including the possible loss of principal. The value of investments can go down as well as up, and you may not get back the amount invested.
We encourage financial literacy and believe that understanding financial concepts can be both educational and entertaining. However, we strongly recommend consulting with qualified financial professionals before making any significant financial decisions.
By using Financial Fusion, you acknowledge that you have read and understood this disclaimer, and that you are using our content at your own risk.
If you've read this far, congratulations! You have more patience than most investors during a market downturn. May your portfolios be green and your financial decisions wiser than taking advice from a website that employs an AI named HUMORBOT-9000.